Your parenting style may have come naturally or you may have read dozens of books to find the style that fits your family. Knowing your style can be helpful when hiring a nanny to make the smoothest transition possible. There are many different parenting styles but here are some common ones.
PARENTING STYLES
Most people identify most with one of these 3 parenting styles…
1. Relaxed about rules while placing a high focus on the self esteem and autonomy of your children.
2. Very connected to your child with both physical and quality time connections.
3. Mostly firm, not yielding about rules while supporting your child.
HOW CAN YOU TELL WHAT KIND OF PARENT YOU ARE?
It's natural of course, for parents to shift between the parenting styles based on the circumstances of what is currently happening. Consider how you would react to the following situations:
Your child is throwing a tantrum?
Your child wants to stay up past their bedtime?
Your child defies you?
Your child is emotional?
All parents are driven by what they feel is “best” for their child, which may lead us to act or react in ways we wouldn’t in any other context. Consider what these reactions say about your parenting style.
"My child loves pretzels. What would I do if you walked in on them sneaking
a snack?"
"If you planned to take the kids to the park, but got busy with an art project, how would you decide what to do?"
"My child typically communicates well, except when they're tired. If they're crying, how would you figure out what she wants or needs?"
"What’s the best way to get the kids to help you clean up?"
SCENARIOS
Each of these may seem like “daily issues,” or maybe not issues at all; but they relate to questions of style and approach. For instance, a more permissive parent may interpret the first
scenario as an opportunity to get the child a snack. If you are an authoritative parent,
you may object to this response due to sneaky behavior.
In the second scenario, this would depend on your instincts around the importance of a schedule. If you prefer a strict schedule you may not feel comfortable with continuing on with the art project.
The third scenario should give you insight into what kind of nurturer the nanny is.
In the last scenario there are different approaches such as immediate compliance, making a
game out of it or simply letting a child choose how to clean up. How you handle this highlights a very important style indicator.
KNOWING YOUR STYLE
Once you've figured out your style you'll be better able to convey this style and your preferences to your nanny to make sure you are on the same page about how you want your children treated. This is a very important part of making the nanny/parent relationship work.
